> Finding out your colleague also plays chess can segue into an invitation to play chess outside of work, and launchpad that into building a friendship.
Yeah, but if you make a point of never shooting the shit with your coworkers how will you ever really come across this kind of info?
I do ultimately agree forcing this kind of thing isn't usually good, and it definitely sounds like this retreat went sideways due to poor management. People probably shouldn't be doing things like keg stands at a company retreat, management should have stopped things well before people were pressured into such activities. And yeah, a company-wide forced "tell everyone your darkest secrets for trust" thing, forget that you're only going to get a watered down example. Management shouldn't be putting people in that kind of position.
Goes back to my point, things need to be balanced. It's good and healthy for a workplace to help people form these kinds of friendships in small nudges, but overly forcing connections that aren't forming naturally just isn't good. And excessive drinking at company events just leads to issues, that's for sure.
> if you make a point of never shooting the shit with your coworkers how will you ever really come across this kind of info?
Asking coworkers about their hobbies is well within the domain of small talk that serves as the exploration for what you have in common with someone else. Small talk is universally acceptable, not only in the context of communities that you're already a part of, but even as part of striking up a conversation with strangers.
Again - private grief is not small talk, and even if you have expert-level small talk skills, that doesn't mean that you will build friendship with everyone.
Yeah, but if you make a point of never shooting the shit with your coworkers how will you ever really come across this kind of info?
I do ultimately agree forcing this kind of thing isn't usually good, and it definitely sounds like this retreat went sideways due to poor management. People probably shouldn't be doing things like keg stands at a company retreat, management should have stopped things well before people were pressured into such activities. And yeah, a company-wide forced "tell everyone your darkest secrets for trust" thing, forget that you're only going to get a watered down example. Management shouldn't be putting people in that kind of position.
Goes back to my point, things need to be balanced. It's good and healthy for a workplace to help people form these kinds of friendships in small nudges, but overly forcing connections that aren't forming naturally just isn't good. And excessive drinking at company events just leads to issues, that's for sure.